The "high tech-low touch" parenting dilemma
By Dr. Robert Reiher and Dr. Dan Acuff
The term "high tech, low touch" has never been so accurately descriptive—or more timely indicative of what our children and our families are currently facing. We are now immersed in a high tech world, and what we are trading off is the critical balance needed between high technology and emotional family intimacy. And if we're not careful, that balance can be easily tipped toward a high tech, low touch family, suffering from disequilibrium, emotional distancing and breakdowns in communication, without ever even recognizing the hidden causes.
Today's big picture indicates that there are very alarming trends across the board when it comes to children growing up. Did you know there is a three-fold rise in preschoolers being expelled because of behavior disorders? Preschoolers! Teen suicide is way up, and use of prescription drugs by children is common for disorders heretofore unnamed and unknown to man. Materialism appears to be the norm and many of our young today have a sense of entitlement, coupled with a lesser sense of personal responsibility.
Who or what is to blame? And how does the new high tech, low touch environment influence our children? On one level, some marketers are the perpetrators. Video game violence is being sold to our youth like never before. It comes packaged in the latest techno gaming innovations, in TV programming and film. Childhood obesity has tripled. Sugar, carbs and fats tantalize on the tube, at home, in school and in grocery and convenience stores. Film and DVD celebrities model the use of guns, alcohol and tobacco in a world of high tech theaters and immersive home theater systems.
What is even more disturbing is the use of deceitful or manipulative ad strategies. Some marketers are experimenting with "neuromarketing"- using the latest neuro-imaging techniques to watch kids' brain cells fire away as they respond to different visual and auditory "eye candy" and high powered advertising stimuli.
Parents today, and all who have children in their care, such as grandparents and educators, need to double their awareness of these negative forces at work. They especially need to assist by understanding and addressing the particular developmental limitations and "blind spots" of children as they progress through different stages of growth from toddlerhood to the teenage years. These vulnerabilities make them "sitting ducks" for aggressive and irresponsible marketers using the latest innovations in technology to promote their messages.
An example of a critical blind spot is the "Use it or Lose it" phenomenon. There are key learnings that must take place during the early stages of human development that either won't occur at all or will be much more difficult later on. These are referred to as "sensitive" periods. Time spent with fast paced, immersive technology, for example, may lessen reading time. The result may be that important abilities related to a deeper intelligence and a richer imagination do not fully develop. More time spent with machines indoors and less time spent in outdoor play, sports and time with nature will have their cost in the form of health, less social interaction and diminished "natural intelligence" or awareness of and appreciation for the natural world.
The window of opportunity to learn opens but for a while, then closes. Use it or lose it.
It's time for action. All who care for children can make a variety of small "trim tab" changes that can begin to "rescue" their young—and society itself—from many of the technologically driven negative forces impinging on them. A "trim tab" is a small rudder that fits inside the huge rudders of huge ships, making it easier for them to begin to turn while being swept along in ship's momentum. Small changes can result in great effect.
Parents must take charge and establish a balance between high tech and high touch. Here are just a few of the dozens of YES—"Youth Enrichment Strategies"
Regarding technology, parents would be well advised to minimize the amount of media in a child's room—at least until the tween and teen years. No TV in their rooms and they will watch TV with the family, no computer in their room and they won't have potentially dangerous, unsupervised access to the Internet or to violent computer games. No videogame system and no personal telephone in their room and they may resort to—and actually enjoy—reading or creative play such as art, crafts, music.
A typical child these days watches an average of 6 hours of TV a day. It's no wonder that by the end of a year they've seen thousands of acts of violence.
Violent videogames should be outlawed altogether. Other video gaming activities should be carefully scrutinized and selected. Time spent playing can be scheduled and limited. Research indicates that violent imagery is increasing rapidly. Research data from a variety of scientific studies indicate the following:
61 percent of television programs contain some violence, and only 4 percent of television programs with violent content feature an "antiviolence" theme.
44 percent of the violent interactions on television involve perpetrators who have some attractive qualities worthy of emulation.
43 percent of violent scenes involve humor either directed at the violence or used by characters involved with violence.
Nearly 75 percent of violent scenes on television feature no immediate punishment for or condemnation of violence.
40 percent of programs feature "bad" characters who are never or rarely punished for their aggressive actions.
In addition to the violence issue, other factors that influence your child's values are on the rise. For example, age-inappropriate sexuality (70% of TV programming now contains sexual content) has escalated and forty thousand advertisements viewed annually, keen on feeding children's consumerism, amount to $600 billion spent each year by and for kids from birth to age twenty.
To combat technologically driven materialism and an increased sense of entitlement, parents can manage far more effectively the amount of "stuff" their kids ask for, receive and accumulate if done in the early years. "Just say no" isn't only useful to fight drug use.
Parents can also re-establish family rituals such as weekly, if not daily, meals together. Playing board and card games is a rich opportunity for communication and family interaction. Parents can plan family outings together with their children whether it's as simple as going out to eat, to the movies, or as grand as a family vacation.
Parents today, more than ever before need to arm themselves with knowledge of what's really going in today's technologically driven consumer-dominated world on so they can wake up to the very real dangers facing their children and their families. Then, with that awareness they will have the wherewithal to make the changes that will put them back in the driver's seat of the runaway train of materialism.
Drs. Dan Acuff and Robert Reiher, experts in youth marketing, are authors of Kidnapped – How Irresponsible Marketers are Stealing the Minds of Your Children« Back to SEMINARS & PUBLICATIONS